It has been a long time since I have written; almost a year. I have still been struggling with my finances but my head is above the water. The housing market has been picking up the last few weeks and I'm in hopes that things are changing for the better. I got more loan applications this February than I have gotten since 2005. This may be due to the tightened mortgage market and the role banks are having. As a mortgage company I think we have more products and are more flexible with score requirements as low as 620. There are many first time homebuyer incentives out there and the prices for a home are low here. I think the thing that is holding some people back is job stability.

After my blog in April, 2009, many things happened. My mother-in-law became ill and we took her in only to find out she was dying of cancer. It was a very difficult time for all of us and she died in our home after 24 days of arriving.

After that my mother moved to Florida leaving her long time partner here. He had a stroke and I have been caring for his needs for months now and he will be returning home tomorrow in a wheelchair. There are many things he still can not do as he doesn't walk well and his left arm is still paralized; so he will need my help with laundry, groceries, housework, cooking and etc. I've signed up for some home health services to help out as well but they will not be coming until later next week, I also looked into a meals delivery program for the elderly so some of his meals will be delivered. I'm hoping things will improve quickly as I really need my life back (he has no family so I'm it).

My daughter is due for a baby soon and I will going to spend some time with her, the new baby and my 3 year old grandchild. I'm hoping when this is all done I can then focus on me.

I've been marketing my business by doing Realtor presentations, flyers, emails, letters to past customers and etc. I think maybe this year things will be better and I can finally get back on my feet.

Things have not really changed with my husband, he still can't keep his debit card in his pocket and he spends way too much money so we separated finances in the fall of last year. I'm hoping that now that he doesn't have access to my money he will learn how to budget. Last I knew he has already had a few overdrafts (very costly).

So life goes on and I will be filing my taxes soon and paying the last of my interest and penalties for cashing in my IRA last year to pay the IRS for my debt settlement. I'm hoping this will be the end of it and I can put this behind me.

I have a friend that came to me last fall with $85,000 in credit cards; we sat down and did a plan and she was able to settle all the cards and with her tax implications; she got out for about $45,000. She too used her retirement money to get rid of the debt. She had no idea what I've been through, she just knows I know a lot about cleaning up debt and your credit report. I'd like to teach some classes on this subject, but instead I have been doing it on an individual basis with prospective mortgage clients.

Hope all is well with the friends I have met here and best wishes.

Well it has been two years since I have been able to afford to fly anywhere. The winds are apparently in my favor right now. I heard from my sister who has a client that has offered the use of her condo and car for my DH and myself, all free and on the beach, so we are off on vacation on Thursday for nine days. How great is that? A free condo overlooking the beach and a car. We are so excited, it has been a long time since we have been able to go away and with this gift of generosity we can afford to go. Our airline tickets were $514 and because we have a full kitchen and barbeque grill at the condo, we can cook in and lay by the pool. I bought two books to read while we are there.

Regarding the mortgage business, things are picking up and I think I can see some recovery. With the new $8000 tax credit to first time homebuyers (can't have owned a home in the last three years), I'm expecting to see more purchase activity. This could be a good time to turn our finances around.

My DH is refinancing our home and dropped our rate from 6.50% to 5.25% and he consolidated some various debts he had left over, thereby reducing our monthly debts to give us some breathing room. We have done numerous improvements to the home and it appraised well. We are now working on the yard and doing some pretty extensive landscaping. However, having a contractor husband has it's faults, they work all day long in the business and don't move too fast at home. I'm sure by summer end we will have things looking nice outside.

Yesterday, I staked off my gardens for the summer. I've got two large plots, one for regular crops of corn, lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, potato's, radishes, carrots, beets and etc. The second plot will be for my vine crops; cucumbers, squash, summer squash, zucchini, pumpkins and in the far corner of the plot I'm putting in 4-5 blueberry bushes. This will add to the yard appeal and save money in our monthly food budget. I will can and freeze veggies throughout the summer.

Think summer; I'm so glad the snow is gone.

So I finally go to the accountant, we go over my tax situation. In adding up my 1099C-s my actual savings (also called income) in negotiating my credit card debt was $78,400. We added up my assets at the time of settlement and subtracted my liabilities and my insolvent position was $36,000 so I must pay tax on $42,400 .... ouch!! I also got laid off on my job last year and was forced to claim a 401k loan as income (I used that money to help with debt settlement). So when the accountant gets all done with me, I owe the IRS about $14,500 and the state $4,000. So I ask for tax advice from the accountant, do I pay the IRS with my left over 401k money or do I arrange payments with the IRS? Hands down, she says pay the IRS with your remaining retirement.

There may be two reasons for this decision. First of all I still have not recovered from the financial crisis and am not earning enough for a large payment monthly to the IRS and second, it puts the nightmare to bed finally. So I went to the bank and got the money knowing that next year, I have to pay tax and penalty on the money I took to pay the IRS and the state, but I hope to have enough tax deductions from my business expenses i.e. mileage, advertising, home office use and etc.

So now I have about $16,000 in retirement money left and hopefully there will be no reason to touch it. I think the housing market here in the North will be turning around soon and we should be at least stable and working some of the time. I'm looking for ways to make other income including teaching budgeting and credit counseling, but today it occured to me that maybe I should look for a job writing a monthly column in our local paper about credit, budgeting and how to save money. It could help with my business and help other people as well. I know I have learned so much going through this process.

This week I checked out www.mint.com and started tracking our spending. I'm watching my DH with his ATM debits again and he has headed out of control. I wish he would stop smoking; it is a major expense and it's going up all the time, not to mention the health risk associated with smoking. My DH is a cancer survivor and should definately not be smoking.
With cigarettes over $6.00 a pack here and he smokes a pack a day, that is $42.00 a week and we really can't afford it, but what do you do??

So I have come to the time to start thinking about filing my taxes. I have received all my 1099C's for the credit card debt and the credit card companies did not date the 1099's the day of settlement. This affects everything because the IRS says your point of settlement is the date on the 1099c and the balance sheet has to be prepared on that date. So I had balance sheets done at the point of each settlement, but now I have a different date so I have to reconstruct my balance sheets to the new dates. I'm probably going to actually do better because the money was gone and my asset position was less making for a more insolvent position; so that is a silver lining.

The new job is going great, I only wish there were more customers. It seems that everyone is nervous about buying right now and there are some great deals out there, but if you don't know if you are going to have a job, you don't buy a house.

I have been working deligently on a credit counseling business. I'm thinking of doing this on the side to help people get back on track with their credit and to educate them on how to get out of debt. I'm not confident that I have it down yet, but I'm working on it.

My house is pretty much done and I'm looking to refinance perhaps in another month to get a better rate. It would be a good time for the DH to consolidate some of his final debts as well and get him in a better position.

I'm making plans to leave for Florida on April 16th. My sister is lending us a condo on the ocean for 10 days at no charge, she says she thinks I deserve it. Nice sister!! I can hardly wait to get out of this cold Northern weather, I spend most days in the house because it is so cold out. That is the hardest part about living in a colder climate.

As my readers know, in September I was laid off by a large national lender that I had worked for for almost 10 years. I felt it coming and had accepted another job with another lender the day before I was laid off, so I was feeling really good about following my intuition and looking for a job when I thought something was going to happen and having a new job when it did.

So I started the new job in October, I was really excited about the new job, it was with one of the largest banks in the country and they had a lot of tools for lenders to use to help market our products and etc. I immediately picked up about $1,000,000 in new loans. I started on a guaranteed salary with the ability to receive additional commission if I exceeded the salary base. With the loans I took in I could have exceeded the salary in November, making for extra money for Xmas. However, I found that the new lender does not have a streamlined and efficient process, they are so unorganized that they can't get a loan to closing. I could bore you with the details of one loan disaster after another that I experienced with this lender and how incompetent and unprofessinal their staff was, and how they appeared to have no regard for human life.

As an experienced lender with 22 years of experience and someone who has a conscience when I deal with my clients, I became very defensive of my customers and felt they were not being treated respectfully, no one even seemed to care what they were doing, there was no smooth loan process and they really didn't care if they met the customers expectation or not, they didn't seem to realize these were people with dreams and lifes and they were messing with them. I would wait and try so hard to get a customer through and then they would come out with new conditions just before we were going to close and I would have to transfer the loans to another lender just to get them through. When I transfer a loan I am not paid for my work, however, I felt great relieve knowing I had finally assisted them with their loan request. After transferring three loans to another lender and watching it close within a week, I got so angry, I quit! Yes, you heard it right, I quit! When there is no regard to a human being in an organization that is suppose to serve them, I just couldn't handle it and the stress was overwhelming, to the point I could not sleep and I was in constant turmoil trying to get more and more ridiculous documentation for inexperienced underwriters who obviously did not know what they were doing. With my years of experience I could have underwritten a loan myself and I was constantly correcting the underwriters and then would have to provide them with documentation from government manuals showing them they were wrong; I'm a government loan specialist and where they got these people, I don't have a clue.

So how smart was that? We are in the peak of a financial crisis and I've been through one myself and I quit my job. Well, I am also no dummy and I know my business reputation and that my name is worth something, so the word hit the street that I had quit and immediately two lenders called. One lender was a local bank desk job lending on an annual salary (very low) plus a commission and no sign on bonus. The other lender was a mortgage company that a few of my former friends had gone to when our company laid us off, they offered a nice incentive package and they were the lender that pickup up my crippled loans and put them through within a week (obviously efficient and organized). So I have chosen the mortgage company with a guaranteed salary into March, which is great because that is our slowest time of year and I also have the ability to make commission if I exceed salary, which I will try very hard to do. I actually start work today and they are allowing me to work out of my home like I have for years.

Am I scared taking a new job in this lending environment? Absolutely, but I'm more confident that I can do my job with these people and I'll just let time take care of things. I'm a little nervous right now with what has happened to me in the last few months with my employment and all the major changes in my life.

I'm really going through a tough time emotionally right now because I sold my home of 26 years, moved an hour away from my kids, my 19 year old baby moved out so I'm experiencing the empty nest syndrome and I've been working nonstop in my new home renovating it so it is more liveable (painting, painting and more painting).

While I'm going through all this, my DH decides to act up, he takes over $700 of money out of our budget and just blows it, he is still out of control with the debit card and adds about another $400 on top of that and he decides to take out a student loan for his child without consulting with me (with a total debt now of $20,000 on student loans). I get the statement in the mail and that is how I find out. Now should this bother me? No it shouldn't if he could pay it by himself, but he is already maxed with his debt and is barely able to meet his expenses and our joint housing expense. We have a joint checking and he is out of control with debit charges and by the end of the month he usually spends more than he brings into the budget. This has been a continuing problem for over a year now. My husband and I have been together for a little over two years, we made some financial decisions in the beginning on how our finances would be handled, because I make more money than my husband we decided on a joint checking so there would no fighting about who was going to pay for this and that, but he has not been able to control his spending and does not have the same frugal nature as I do, it has caused some serious problems in our relationship and when he just takes large sums of money and blows them, I become very upset.

So the house is almost finished, I have just two more rooms to paint, the job situation still shaky and my husband is out of financial control; I'm feeling just a little overwhelmed right now. I'm of the belief that God never gives you more than you can handle, but right now he is pushing it. I'm finding that when all this is going on in your life, it is very hard to keep a positive attitude and I have caught myself being very negative lately; something I intend to work on.

I also have the opinion that when you don't know what to do; do nothing. So I'm just giving all this more time and we will see what happens next, but I am very tired.

I'm glad to see that oil prices are dropping, but the DH and I took some extra steps to cut fuel consumption this long, cold winter. The first step was buying a wood pellet stove in August when they had sales and we were able to get a stove for $1,500. We also ordered pellets and locked the price at $240 a ton (they are now $300 a ton). We had replaced two doors last year and three storm windows so that should help.

As we were renovating our property I noticed our kitchen door window was losing a lot of heat. The door is an aluminum door and has a window in the top and the window looked like it moved and there was a gap, it also had a very dirty window (the tenant didn't wash windows for an entire year and a half). Aluminum doors will last a long time and the actual door appeared to be in good shape. I started messing around with the window and tried to wash it and etc., and the whole window fell out. My DH thought we needed a whole new door which would mean a new casing, a lot of work and money. However, after researching through his supply catalog, we found that the window could be replaced for $40.00 and it solved our heat loss problem as well; it's like finding gold, we saved $300 or more.

My DH is an experienced builder and he was able to work a deal out with some contractors to come to the house and add more insulation to our attic for $100. So this should save on additional heat loss. We knew we were losing heat in the attic because there were dark areas on the ceiling were the rafters are which means you are losing heat through the ceiling. So this problem is solved as well.

We orderd our first 100 gallons of oil at $3.38 a gallon (ouch). We are hurrying to get that pellet stove running so we can stop using oil, it needs a new stove pipe which we purchased and painted black to match the stove and a new thermostat which we have installed, this weekend we should have that pipe installed and we hope to burn our first pellets. I can hardly wait, it has been so cold out and I won't turn the thermostat up above 68 and today we are suppose to get snow, so it's not that warm in the house; being thin I get cold easily and once the feet are cold, they never get warm again.

The house is coming along very well. We apparently had a faulty propane burner in the house we were not aware of and our tenant didn't tell us, so all the ceilings and walls are stained with black smoke stains, I have to paint every wall and all the ceilings. I've almost got the upstairs done and have started the largest room in the downstairs. I also painted the cupboards and replaced some of the hardware to give them a fresh look. I found some beautiful floor tile on sale in earth tones for $85 at the Home Depot. We needed a new entry way into the house because the prior one was water damaged. My DH installed it and it looks beautiful with the old red oak floors, it blended nicely and took care of what could have been a very expensive repair. My DH originally thought we would have to rag out the old floor and replace it and sand all the floors in the upstairs area so they would blend, this would have probably cost about $3000 and we were able to fix it with new tile and no sanding, a huge savings of time and money.

My DH did some custom construction of beams and crown molding in the main living area and we painted it with a semi gloss ivory color. He had also taken down a wall and made a much larger living area with a combined dining room and living room. The room we removed was wasted space we used for an office. Now the space is more family oriented and it gives a warm and cozy feeling. Since we are doing all the work ourselves, these improvements have been very inexpensive and it looks lovely.

My DH is able to get all his materials either at discount or free because some of the materials are scrap materials from one of his jobs. I bought paint at Walmart because someone told me that was generic Sherwin Williams paint, I only paid $10 a gallon. The color was rich and nice, but it didn't have the quality of a thick paint and required two coats instead of one. Overall, I'm happy with the results and the paint spread evenly. Paint can do amazing things to a room, but would not recommend Walmart paint, I found Glidden paint to be a good paint and reasonable.

I made an interesting discovery through this process too. When someone from the past was decorating this house, they had put in a brick tile floor space under the area for the woodstove and a pale yellow tile wall behind the woodstove. The yellow tile goes from the floor to the ceiling and is about six feet wide. It looks awful and doesn't match the room and is some what of an eye sore and stood out in the room saying "hello, look at me". So I lightly sanded the wall tile, which was ceramic and I primed and sealed it with a nice Behr product, then I painted the wall tile the same color as the walls in the room, it blended right in and looks the way it should and now the floor underneath the stove looks more like it belongs there. I didn't know you could paint ceramic tile on a wall; a painter told me about it.

I feel like I've started my own "This is your House" a series on cheap home repairs that look like a million bucks.

So I closed on the house finally, it was a nightmare closing with a two hour notice and then there is a probably with the title and I closed two weeks ago and my money is still in escrow and the people are living in my house. Don't even ask, it only happens to me.

So we have moved and we are renovating the new property. We have no furniture and no money to buy any until they release my money. So we wait or we hire an attorney - so I guess we wait.

Meanwhile the stock market has gone crazy and I checked what is left of my 401k and I have lost $16,633 since I lost my job. I'm panicking because of all my tax implications on the credit card savings and I can't pay back my 401k loan so I'll have to pay tax there too so I now owe the IRS and I was counting on my 401k to bail me out; if need be, but if I have no money left in my 401k I'll have to find another way to pay the IRS. It just seems never ending and President Bush is making a statement on the economy; we would like to hear something positive.

I hope that when the elections are over our economy will begin to recover. I am thankful I sold a house in these times; so living without furniture is a minor inconvience.

About two weeks ago I started reading info on the company I work for and saw they were in huge financial distress. I decided that I should start job searching and had an interview with a top mortgage company in the country and was offered a position. On Tuesday I accepted the job and put in for a background check and etc. before they could officially hire me. Yesterday all employees of my company were summoned to a conference call; I and many other employees were laid off effective Friday. I'm not expecting problems with my background check, my credit is in good standing now and it should go through.

I can't believe I saw this coming and had a job lined up when I was laid off; I'm truly blessed and am so thankful for the things that are happening in my life right now. Sometimes when you look at things, they were suppose to happen this way.

I think of the "what ifs" - what if I had not cleaned up my credit? What if I hadn't sold my house? What if I hadn't found a reliable car? So many things have happened and they have all happened as they should. Being in a financial mess helped me to straighten out my life in many ways and although my job may be in limbo right now, I know things are working out the way they should and I will be fine through this. Today I heard the first positive reports on the news for "first time homebuyers" this is what we need, some positive reports about buying a home now while the market is down. If "first time homebuyers" take advantage of the programs and start buying houses, it will allow current home owners to move on and buy their new homes and the cycle will begin and the economy will start to recover. Let's hope that this is it and things start moving forward in the near future so we can start to recover in this country.

This has been an amazing 10 days. I sold a diamond ring for $1000, I sold my used car after it was in an accident and I made $6,900 with the insurance check, I sold my second vehicle, which needed about $3,000 work, to an auction service and lost $800 on what I owed, but it beats the repairs and I wanted to pay off the loan associated with the car and I can't afford an expensive German car that is falling apart. My neighbor sold me her car $6,000 under loan value and the bank actually gave me a loan because there was plenty of equity and I had only a six month flaw in my credit history; after all I have been through this last year and this year, my credit score was still 622.

I have saved the best for last; I got a contract on my home and will be paying off another $152,000 in debt and I'll be walking away with a sweet $8,000, better than a foreclosure and down to one home. The people that came of the first of the month were tire kickers and didn't even have a bank preapproval, they just had a plan with no substance. I was very discouraged, then one day out of the blue people show up and want to see my house, no appointment or anything, they just show up and I let them in and they love it and we sign a contract and they are bank preapproved and we will close in six weeks. I feel so fortunate, I was so frightened I would be sitting on this house for another winter and I didn't know how I was going to do it, now I don't have to worry.

My business is really down and I'm thinking about finding a second job waitressing or bartending evenings. In October I'm moving to a high end ski area, this is where my second home is, so there should be more work in that area maybe I can find some business there too on condo sales and etc.

So that is all my great news and I'm truly grateful for all the blessings occurring in my life; I know I will survive and someday this will all be past me and it's looking like sooner than later.

So my house is on the market now; I had one tire kicker show up at one of my yard sales and he just had to see the house and got me all excited and was never to be heard of again. So I put my house out there and I've been waiting patiently and I received an email from someone interested that wants to look at the house this Wednesday.

So on Friday my husband and I decided to go away for our anniversary and my 50th birthday and we take a low budget trip and drive to the Ocean shore and stay in a Best Western for a few days. I check my email on vacation and find an email asking to see the house. So we came home early yesterday, I start freaking out; found some peeling paint outside by the doors so I scrapped and painted that, then found the gas grill had blown black smoke all over one side of the house were I had been cooking and I had to wash and paint that. My husband started to help me and he washed all the outside windows. I was going to the basement and noticed numerous hand prints, dings and marks on those walls so I painted the whole stair well and then I decided I don't like the looks of the down stairs bathroom so I tear that apart and start putting on a fresh coat of paint and before I know it; it's time for bed and the bathroom is only half done.

So here I am up again early and am going to finish that bathroom and then I will need to vacuum, mop, dust and wax the floors (my 18 year old son had friends in while we were gone). My potential buyer is coming tomorrow at 4:00 pm. So I have plenty of time to get the house looking cozy. I have moved some of my storage to the back shed to give the house a feeling of lots of room. One of the things I find is that if you keep looking, there is one more thing you can do; I feel like this is what ADD must feel like, I'm painting one wall, washing the toilet, then find myself cleaning a shower, it's hard to stay focused when there is so much I want to do and need to do.

Also, I have a job to do and I had calls while I was away, customers I need to get back to. I was going through the customers that called and four of them were people I am just giving credit report assistance to; these are people that are looking for help to clean up their credit so they can get a future loan. I generally give free credit repair educational services just to help people clean up and in a year or two they buy a home and use my service. These are time consuming customers and with the real estate market slow I'm finding time to help them; that really is a good thing.

So my plate is full, my trottle is to the metal today and I'm off multi-tasking. I hope this is not just another tire kicker ... there is so much work to preparing a house for showing.

My car is 8 years old, it is starting to have some problems, one of them being rust around the wheel well. I took the car to a auto body shop and asked how much to fix the wheel wells. The guy tells me he can't just fix the wheel wells he will have to paint the entire side of the car on both sides so the paint matches. I told him it didn't need to match perfect, I just don't want surface rust to turn into holes in my car; I have to drive this car another year or two. He tells me that he has to do it that way and it will cost $2,000. So I told him thanks, but no thanks.

So I go to our local car supply store, I buy some sand paper, rust preventor spray, primer, had them mix up matching paint, sprayer gun, rubbing compound and a buffing machine.

I get home and go to work. I sanded off the old paint and rust. I then sprayed it with rust preventor. I waited 24 hours, then I primed it, waited for that to dry and then I sprayed paint on. It blended quite nicely; I was truly surprised. Then I lightly sanded the paint with very, very fine paper and I put rubbing compound on the car and buffed it to a nice shine. Total cost was less than $100 and the car looks fine. I'm sure it's not as nice as a professional could do, but I don't have any more rust and it will slow down the process of the car deteriorating.

I'm babying this car because the clutch is acting up and I have to prepare for that repair to the tune of $1,500. Hopefully, it will be the last repair in a long while. This car is a 2000 Audi A6 Quattro that I bought used in 2003, it has been very good to me, but she is getting old.

This weekend my DH and I are invited to a party. The house we were invited to sits at the top of a very long steep driveway. All the time my DH is driving up the hill he is telling me horror stories that occurred through the years on that road and people who have gone off it; especially in the winter months, it was very steep and appeared to be a second class road. So we get to the top of the hill and he mindfully parks the car in a vertical position across the hill, puts it in gear and puts on the emergency brake.

We go join the crowd and about an hour into the event everyone is running out the door yelling about a car; I can't see my parked car anymore and you guessed it, our car kicked out of gear and headed down the hill on it is own; hitting another car and passing several others. My car is now probably totalled; the other car doesn't look much better.

I'm insured, but probably not for long; I have had two accidents (neither my fault) in the last year and a speeding ticket. So what is the good news out of this; there has to be some? I don't have to sell the car now, I'll get an insurance check and no one was hurt; accept DH's pride and he will deeply miss the car.

I've never seen anything like this in my life;it was totally bizarre.

My house is for sale, I put a sign out front and listed it on Craig's List a few weeks ago. I checked with my local paper and it is $19.50 to run an ad on Saturday with a picture of the house; I thought that was cheap. I thought I would try this for a month and see what happens.

We have two houses; one is rented until the end of August. On August 1st I will have two mortgages to pay and we need to sell this house. I don't know how long we can make two mortgage payments and the housing market doesn't seem to be picking up here. Without a housing market; I am losing income and the ability to make two mortgage payments. Our total monthly payments are about $4,600 with the two houses, vehicles, insurance and utilities. On August 1st I can terminate my Verizon wireless plan which will save me $175 a month. In September we will be moving into the second property and that should reduce my cable, telephone and internet bill, currently it is about $200 a month and if I get the comcast package it will be less. The DH and is going to try to get a home equity loan so we can put a new window in the second home (the current one is old and losing heat), new carpet and a wood pellet stove and pellets for the winter. I don't know who can afford the predicted $5.00 a gallon for fuel oil; my mother paid $5.09 a gallon for kerosine last week. I'm really worried about the poor and the elderly this winter; I just don't see how they will be able to make it, I'm praying for a mild winter here.

So I'm really debating with thoughts about selling the house. Should we try to sell on our own or bite the bullet and pay a Realtor 6%? If we use a Realtor, it will probably leave us with about $5,000 in net proceeds; not even enough to pay my tax implications on my debt settlement. I wish I had sold the house a few years ago when the market was still thriving, now everyone is giving low offers just because the economy is stuggling. If I can't get enough money for the house; I may have to rent it.

Once I can sell this house things should start looking up financially; I just hope it sells, it's a nice house in a nice location and is not too expensive; I listed it for $174,900 but the lowest I'd take is $165,000 and my house is within walking distance of the town school and the ski area is a mile away; it was a great home to raise my children in.

It has been months of sleepless nights; worrying about how I was going to get out of the enormous amount of debt that I'm in. Well miracles do occur and this week Chase settled a $20,000 debt with me at 45%. They were very nice to me through this process and would just make calls and see if my situation had changed. I wish I could say it has, but truth is my phone hasn't rang with new business for over a week now; the housing market is just dead.

So now I'm waiting for my IRS refund that is still tied up. I still have about $4,000 left for debt settlement from the money I borrowed. So I don't have enough money to settle with anyone right now and I have two creditors left. I have some money tied up in an escrow account that may come to me by June, about $3700. I'm having a moving sale on Memorial day weekend and I'm selling a lot of my furniture and lots of other things I've accumulated through the years in my basement.

Hopefully, everything will come together and I can finish this credit card mess. I'm not talking to the last two creditors for the rest of this month, I talked to them last week and actually had a heated discussion with the meanest creditor I have; they have been the worst and have treated me like a piece of crap since day one. I have had nightmares about that last creditor; I hope I will be able to settle with them soon.

As you all know I'm in a lot of credit card debt and my income in the housing market, crashed. Since last October I've been trying to come up with money to settle my credit card debt. My first creditor, BOA, I had a balance of $59900 and they settled for $23,000 early on, which was a huge relief. Since then I have been struggling with collection calls.

Last week, I unexpectedly got a call from a Supervisor from Citi card company that I have a $26000.00 balance with, he advises that he has listened to the tapes of my hardship and feels it is serious and they might like to settle. He ask me what I can give and I tell him all I have left at this time is $10,000 because I just did a large settlement with BOA. I've had to borrow money and sell personal belongings to get to this point. He says he will think it over, take it to Management and will call me back by Tuesday or Wed. next week. I finally hear from him on Thursday morning this week and he said they would take the $10000 as settled for less.

I was so excited; another credit card resolved and just three more to go totaling about $54000, I'm over half way there. Citi has been very nice to me throughout this whole process, they always treated me with respect and were nice to me and even gave words of encouragement. There are some very nice people working there.

So how do I get through the rest of this? I have a little money left, I have a used car to sell, I've got my house on the market and I'm going have a yard sale to get rid of extra furniture; some office supplies and etc. I'm still waiting for my tax refund, an escrow refund and my stimulus payment. When I pull all this together I'll have an estimated $24,000; almost half of what I owe my credit card companies.

When I get through this I will have to start saving for my tax implications. I also have a car that is in need of a lot of repair and I can't fix it until I know I'm successful in my debt settlement. The car is 8 years old but will run nice once I get everything repaired. I figure my credit is shot for the next two years so I'll have to drive it, it has about 130,000 miles on it.

Someday this housing market will come around and when it does and I can catch up and start saving for another car; I'll pay cash for a used one, no more car loans, no more credit cards and hopefully when the house is sold; I'll have just one mortgage left I want to plug away at.

Ambitious plans for a brighter future.

It has been a while since I have written on my blog. I'd like to say it was because I was busy working, but the housing market is still slow and interest rates on mortgages are going up. Another obstacle I face in my business, is the cost of poor credit is going up. Fannie Mae is now charging extra closing costs in the form of points to people with scores of 720 or below. In light of this, now I will be writing more government loans like Federal Housing and Veteran loans who do not penalize people who have had credit challenges. Even our State Housing Program changed all terms of financing; going from 100% financing to 95-97% with stricter underwriting standards; things are changing daily.

Regarding my credit situation, I have not been able to negotiate any more settlements on my credit cards and the balances are growing. I only pray daily that something will happen to give me hope soon. I hate to think of the alternatives if I can't work all this out.

I'm preparing my house for sale; I've owned it for 26 years and I have mixed emotions about selling, but we can't continue with two houses. I've been fortunate to have a good tenant through the winter in our smaller home; without a tenant I don't know what we would have done. The rental house is smaller and much cheaper to live in and with things the way they are, we need to downsize.

This is a very scarey time in our economy; I'm watching heating fuel, gas, groceries and housing cost soar and I wonder how my youngest son will ever be able to live on his own. I believe we are in an official recission and I wonder were we will go from here?

Well I can't solve the worlds problems today so I guess I'll go outside today and rake the lawn. We still have some snow out there but I'll work around it.
I hope everyone is enjoying this nice week up through the east coast.

So I prepare my taxes on February 5th and it looks like the IRS owes me. I send it via internet though Turbo Tax, within 10 days I get my State Refund and I'm still waiting for my Federal Refund. A few days later I get another mortgage interest statement. I amend my return $300 I'll get back. I cannot send this in by Turbo Tax again as an amended return, so I print out the amended return and send them in via snail mail.

Here we are about 6 weeks later and still no refund. I called the IRS last Thursday to inquire. They advise that they received my taxes on March 13th (that would mean it took over a month for my taxes to get to the IRS by mail), that doesn't sound right. They then tell me they can wait 19 cycles to respond to my amended return (19 weeks), he further advises me that they never received the electronic return. I advised him I never received a rejection, but when I sent in the amended return I sent in the original return attached that I had electronically filed. He says he wouldn't know because when they see a return is amended they just put it in the amended returns and review it later.

At this point, I'm very upset. I received my State refund so it had to go though and I never received notice via email that my return had been rejected. Just great, I'm in the process of trying to settle my credit cards and the IRS owes me $4,758 and they won't pay me until they are ready and they don't pay me interest and penalities for holding up my money. I explain to the IRS Represenative that I need my money, I'm behind on my debts and I'm having a difficult time making my mortgage and utilities; he ask if I'm in foreclosure and I advised him I am not, he says he will forward my case to an advocate but he doesn't think they will help and they don't care about my credit cards, that is not a true hardship. He further advises the advocate will call in the next three business days.

On Tuesday I call the IRS again, I have not heard from an advocate. They give me the name of the advocate that has been assigned to me so I call her number and leave a message; still no call from an advocate.

So the IRS can hold my money, can think my financial crisis is just a minor inconvenience and I will just have to wait until they are good and ready.
This is what I have to say; I paid my bills on time for 20 years, I've never been late on anything, then I fall into this big hole called the "housing crisis", as a result my credit goes to pieces, I can't sleep at night, I get sick from the stress and get pneumonia for the first time in years and they think it is just a minor inconvenience. Having financial problems affects ones life and if you are a conscientious person like myself, it affects every aspect of your life. Until I get this situation rectified, I will not feel complete as a person.

After I settle my debts I will have some tax implications. I'm sure the IRS will have their hand out and they will charge me tax and penalties if I do not pay on time - this all just seems very unfair to me and this could make the difference of me getting sued or not getting sued. If I can't come up with money before chargeoff on a credit card, it opens up the pandora box of litigation.

This is all so very frustrating and being sick has not made things better for me. All I want is my money and I want it as soon as possible so I can settle this financial mess I'm in. I wonder when I will see my money?

I don't care who you are, if you do not write it down monthly, you do not know how much money you are spending. You can do it the old fashion way and just keep a monthly ledger or you can buy a program such as Quicken.

My husband has a terrible convenience store habit and he is constantly stopping at convenience stores buying cigarettes, coffee, diet coke, cookies, candy and snacks. It totals up and usually is $400 or more a month. We were married last August and I finally made the decision to trail his spending with a Quicken program. He really had no idea how much he was spending until I made him participate in the monthly budget.

The first step of my plan was to make him write out the income we anticipated and the debts to be paid:
BUDGET PLANNING

INCOME:
Salary and Wages: $______________
Rental Income: ______________
Child Support/Alimony: ______________
Social Security: ______________
Pension: ______________
Dividend/Interest: ______________

Total: ============

TAXES:
Federal Income: _____________
State: _____________
FICA/Medicare: _____________
Other: _____________
Total: ===========



RETIREMENT & SAVINGS:
401K: _____________
Pension: _____________
Stocks/Bonds/Mutuals: _____________
Savings/College Plan: _____________
Other: _____________
Total: ===========
HOUSING & DEBT:
Mortgage/Rent: ______________
Real Estate Tax: ______________
Car Loan: ______________
Credit Card: ______________
Child Support/Alimony: ______________
Personal Loans: ______________
Other: ______________

Total: ============

INSURANCE EXPENSE:

Car Insurance: _____________
Homeowners Insurance: _____________
Life Insurance: _____________
Renters Insurance: _____________
Health Insurance: _____________
Dental/Eye Insurance: _____________
Disability Insurance: _____________
Employer Life Insurance: _____________
Other: _____________
Total: ===========

PERSONAL EXPENSES:
Groceries: ______________
Personal Care: ______________
Magazines/Subscriptions: ______________
Internet/Cable: ______________
Lights/Water/Sewer: ______________
Heating: ______________
Cell Phone: ______________
Telephone: ______________
Vehicle Gas/Taxi ______________
Parking Tolls: ______________
Union/Club Dues: ______________
Entertainment: ______________
Clothing: ______________
Doctor/RX Prescriptions: ______________
Dental: ______________
Day Care: ______________
Other: ______________
Other: ______________
Other: ______________
Total: ============

You will then know what you have left and if there isn't anything left, you need to cut back and budget how to make your money stretch until the end of the month. While DH had his hard copy to work from, I kept the true figures by plugging them in each day to the Quicken program. At the end of the month I printed the actual numbers and we compared them to his hard numbers. Interestingly, he had not budgeted for convenience store stops or cigarettes and he was way off on his budget.

After a few months of trailing all of the little convenience store stops he is finally starting to see how his "habit" is affecting our family budget. I can't say that he has it under contol yet, but at the end of the month he will get his Quicken report showing where all the money went. It's undisputable if you budget and make each other accountable to stay within the budget.

Wish me luck,this has been a hard habit for my husband to break and only true numbers bring reality and accountability.

I have been reading a few books lately, with all this time on my hands, "The Secret", "The Total Money Makeover" and "The Success Principles" and they all elude to how your thinking can bring about your financial position.

If I reflect on my life, it is apparent that my positive thoughts did bring me to places I never dreamed possible. Although, I am in a serious financial down right now, I know in my mind that this is a temporary state for me, I know that I will work my way out of this and from what I have learned here, this will not happen in my life again. The giant sucking sound has finally quieted and I'm learning a lot of important things, like the word "no".

One of the biggest things I have learned is that "it's not the hard times that will get you, it is the good times". Just living and doing everything I wanted to do for myself and others and not thinking about the "what if". That is why I am here.

This experience has also given me time to write and I've been doing a lot of that. Working in the finance industry for over 22 years, I know about credit and how banks work, know about credit reports and how to fix them, know about many people who have settled their debts, know many people working with debt management companies and many who have filed bankruptcy. I have assisted thousands of people through the years with their credit issues by giving them information and form letters to fix their problems. All free just to help people so that someday they could buy a home and be bank worthy. I have clients I have spent years with helping them finally get into a position to buy a home.

In the last four months I have spent a lot of time thinking about starting a side business for credit repair, settlement education and other alterntives to give people the tools to handle their own problems. I've consulted with the banking and insurance commission a few times, talked to an attorney about the business and I have wrote a manual that is already over forty pages long. I hope to use my experience and the experience of my clients (all anonymous), as examples with solutions.

While going through this process I noticed a lot of predatory companies who thrive on naive people who don't understand that they don't need third parties to handle their debts and etc. In my research I did find a few companies that seemed legitimate for people who just don't have the confidence to handle their finances on their own, but it took a lot of research. I'm afraid that many people panic and don't take the time necessary to find the right company. If a person has a true hardship they can deal with their creditors and the creditors actually prefer it that way. A person just has to have enough confidence and education to know how to handle their situation.

In the state I live, debt settlement companies are not allowed, however, educating people is. I could have seminars and sell my manual with standard form letters and etc. to help clients handle their own credit issues. They could then consult with me for an additional fee which I would put on a sliding scale based on income and need.

With the new bankruptcy laws, people don't know all their options. I think this could be a very helpful service and I would interested it others thought it would be as well?

My DH's Ford truck would not start in the yard last week, he tried to boost it and it still did not start so he called the tow truck to tow it to the garage. The tow guy tells DH, "I can fix it and I will give you a good deal and get it done quick, I will replace spark plugs, change oil and filters too, probably all it needs". Well, we all want it done quickly don't we? So DH authorizes him to repair it - so he calls the next day at noon and they say, "Yep, have her ready". So DH goes to pick it up after work and guess what? They were so busy towing that they didn't have time to finish fixing it, but they changed oil, filters and plugs; complete tuneup and that didn't work so they think it is a very serious problem; "new fuel pump". DH is not happy, says a few things about their service and leaves shop.

Next day Tow guy calls me, "Ms. XXXX I realize your DH was upset, I know vehicles and I don't do repairs that aren't required, I'm not like that so you want me to fix the fuel pump, I can't find one today, but I can have it by tomorrow morning, nobody has got one?" I tell him my DH has a cell phone; call him. DH has in the meantime been making several calls to the Ford dealership to find out about the fuel system of the truck - he was advised there is a relay switch and a fuel module going into the tank that could be malfunctioning. Fuel pump cost $370, plus hours of labor at $45 an hour, because they have to take the tank off. So DH calls back the tow guy and ask him if he checked the relay switch, tow guy advises, "this truck ain't got one" (hmmmmm), then he ask him if he checked the fuel module - tow guy says, "I was just about to do that". DH tells him to tow it to Ford Garage!!!

So twenty minutes after the truck arrives at Ford Garage they call to say it's the fuel module ($65.00) and it will take a couple hours of labor. So DH authorizes the repair. He then calls tow guy to get the bill on plugs, filters and oil change (towing was paid by AAA), tow guy says SIX HOURS labor and parts; $440.00 - DH is through the roof now ... he takes the weekend to think about it and calls tow guy back and says, "I'm a fair man and I want to pay you, but I will not be screwed by you because you didn't get to replace a fuel pump that didn't need replacing, so what is it going to be? I have checked with Ford and they say you couldn't have more than THREE hours labor and that is pressing it ... tow guy stutters and agrees to the three hours of labor and reduced the bill.

I'm so glad I had a husband to deal with this ... I would have gotten screwed if it were me I would have said, "Okay, do the work and my bill would have been over $1,000 and I would have paid it". I know because this has happened to me, once to the tune of $5,000 because the mechanic said I didn't have a problem when a read light came on; says its just a bad sensor, then my transmission goes because my oil pump was gone, no oil circulating (I had a big problem) - he gets a used transmission and puts it in and doesn't check a piece of plastic in the pistons and starts the engine and bends the pistons so then it has to go to a machine shop to fix the pistons and they made me pay for it ... I was three months without a car ... it was awful!! I didn't have a husband and I was wearing a skirt.

Can anyone else relate?

It has been approximately three weeks, but for less than $200 - we painted our kitchen cabinets and added new brass hardware. I love the new look and it has brightened the kitchen up.

We had a dinner with 12 people today for DH's birthday - everyone was very complimentary about the cabinets and they could not get over how much it changed the look of our kitchen. I was going to add a new counter top for another $900 later on, but everyone said just leave it the way it is, they thought the kitchen as is would sell.

I have lived in this house for 25 years, it is going to be hard to leave when I sell, I raised all my children here and my nieces and nephews and are sad I'm selling too, a lot of memories here, but it will be nice to be able to do something different. Maybe when I get through this debt mess I could move south and get out of all this snow!

In November my DH decided we needed a dog, he felt that I was spending too much time home alone and I needed a companion. I told my DH that I have never had a puppy and knew I was intimidated by large dogs. So my DH makes an appointment to look at german shepard puppies! There were nine of them and we go to look, I was very reluctant and knew that this would entail a lot of work for me, but really I didn't have a clue. He immediately spotted a female that he said was "the one". So he asked me what I thought, I could see he was totally smitten with her since he had had a german shepard in the past, I told him it was up to him and he decides to bring her home.

We set up a kennel in the living room by the back door so she could learn to go potty. She adapted well and within a week she was trained. My living room now looks like a zoo with a gated fence, so she can't get to the furniture, and doggie toys. I purchased a book on how to train your german shepard. Keep in mind I have never personally had a puppy or a large dog.

To make a long story short, the puppy is now about four and a half months old, training has been difficult and she weighs 40 lbs. My once quiet and clean, home has now become very active with the dog chasing my cats and treeing them on the shelves and table (I don't allow my pets on the shelves and table). I spend a great deal of my day going in and out with the dog, cleaning up messes the dog makes (tearing up paper or anything she can find), vacuuming up pet hair and I'm finding this to be a very stressful process. If I ever get back to work here, how will I deal with this high energy dog?

Last week she ate a hole in my recliner I purchased about two years ago; this is while I was talking on the phone in my office. This week she ate the molding off my french doors that cost me $2,400 when I put my addition on in 2004; again I had gone to my office to talk on the phone. My red oak floors are taking a beating from her claws which I trim every two weeks. Outside the house, when it was warmer out, she dug up the septic tank - big hole!! Came to the door covered in mud and looked very pleased with herself. She will love my flower beds in the spring!

Don't get me wrong, she is a beautiful dog and many days sits by me watchfully guarding, she is loyal and faithful and wants me with her all day long. With that being said, I have been in tears and am torn about raising this dog. She is like a small child and I have my children all but raised now, this is an enormous responsibility, very stressful and if I don't spend enough time with her she gets angry and chews something. I can't keep a mat in front of the door because she chews that up, the last one she chewed cost me $40.

I think my DH is very disappointed that I have become disenchanted with his act of kindness; wanting me to have a day companion. DH is gone 13 hours a day and I am it. DH says he can take her to work with him, but that doesn't train her to be a house dog and I think having free rein all day will cause her to be more disruptive in the house.

I have shared my feelings with my DH and he has said he has a single friend that would love the dog. He says he realizes I'm having a hard time here with all the other stresses in my life. Do you give your kids away if you can't deal with them? I have an emotional attachment to this dog, but I realize this is a long term relationship not just a walk in the park.

Any suggestions on what I should do?
I weigh 120 lbs, what will happen when she weighs as much as I do and I have to try to control her? What happens when mud season arrives? Should I just wait it out, will it get better? Will I have any furniture left? Will I be able to sell my house if I keep her and she keeps destroying things?

I really feel sad about all this and was reluctant to post ... but maybe others have experienced this and will know what is the RIGHT thing to do.

I have been a single parent most of my children's lifes. I have a son who is out west and is a Civil Engineer, I have a daughter who lives nearby who is a Human Service major but runs a Restaurant and I have a Senior in High School who is still struggling with school, girls and peer pressure. It has not been easy raising these kids, but there are a few things I have learned:

1. Pick your wars and make sure they are worth it. Your words and actions become memories that can last a life time. Is it really worth it to get upset because they left their clothes somewhere they shouldn't have? It was much easier for me to just take care of it and maybe later gently remind them to pick up after themselves.

2. Be willing to say you are sorry when you know you are wrong. I remember my son mowing the lawn and getting upset because he went to fast and tore up some grass, I confronted him and he began to cry, he was doing his best, he was still learning (I apologized, gave him a hug and told him to drive a little slower).

3. Make sure you tell them that you love them every day. I didn't let my kids leave for school or leave the house without telling them I loved them. You never know what is going to happen in todays world and I never let my kids leave angry at me or me at them, you never know it could be your last words together. (I know this from experience, my best friend had a very bad verbal war with her 15 year old son the day she died in an automobile accident, they said some bad things that have haunted him into adulthood).

4. Praise them often and be careful with criticism; make it constructive and do it kind and methodical; you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. After all, we are building their self esteem.

5. Ask them about their day, about their friends, about their relationships, let them know you are interested in their life and listen to what they have to say; sometimes you will hear things you would not have known if you had not have asked and listened.

6. Teach them to be kind to themselves and kind to others. Make giving to the needy and less fortunate an example in your home and they will never look down on others; it teaches them human compassion.

7. At least 75% of the time, put their needs before your own. They only have one childhood and they are only children once; make it special.

8. Make family meal time important and have sit down dinners together. With sports, work, sleep overs and etc. sometimes it is hard to have family dinners. We made Sunday a must, at least Sunday we had to have dinner together. It keeps the family close and is a good time to share our lifes; there is always a lot of picking and laughing at our table.

9. When they make a mistake and do something they shouldn't (they will because they are human and learning), help them to see what their actions have done to themselves and others, help them to forgive themselves because this is a learning experience and now they can move on. We have all made mistakes and we just need to do better so it doesn't happen again.

10. Give love, give hugs and don't be afraid to touch and show emotions. This teaches your child how to love others, bond with others and express their feelings. I've met people in this life who don't know how to express feelings, are uncomfortable with a hug and never say, "I love you", because as children, they were not shown this important emotion in a touching and affectionate way. I know parents who love their grown children, but I never see them touch, many write a check and think that does it.

I'm definately not or do I profess to be a "great mother", but I have been the best mother I know how to be. I've made mistakes, probably been too easy on them, felt sorry for them because they were raised without a father in our home and have given too much, but my children respect me, love me and come home often to see me, this is home, so I am doing something right.

Give them the tools and they will become everything you think they can be and more.

We've had over 16 inches of snow in the last two days, I had to shovel and snow blow my yard and my neighbors, took me two hours yesterday. The plow truck plowed a whole snow bank into my neighbors yard it was four feet high and two feet thick ... it's a good thing I couldn't find him yesterday, I would have probably given him a shovel and made him help, how rude can he be? He knows the yard is maintained and he doesn't do that to anyone elses yard.

When my neighbor was alive she told me she had a problem with them plowing snow in her yard, but I never knew it was that bad. My neighbor died the day before Xmas of cancer, she has been my neighbor for 25 years and she was only 62. I keep her yard maintained so people will think someone lives there, the estate will sell it in the spring. The executor of the estate lives out west and there is no one here to take care of the property. I miss my neighbor and it gives me some peace to know that I can still do something to help her family. She had a son that was mentally challenged and lived with her and he was in his 30's, the estate will go to him to help with his care; it is very sad and I want to do all I can to make sure no one takes advantage of him financially,I'll do what I can to assist the estate so that no one can bleeds the estate financially. I made sure my neighbor had a trust set up to protect her son because he is a ward of the state because he is not mentally competent and he can't have assets in his name.

My concern was that I had a friend that died 11 years ago in an unexpected car accident. I was the appointed executor of her estate by the probabe court, she had three children from the ages of 10 to 15, by the time the estate was completed, three different law firms had gotten involved and over $20,000 of the childrens money was gone. She didn't have a proper will ... something to think about if you have children and you want to make sure they don't lose their money. Have a proper will or family trust set up and have it filed with the probate court.

I've attached a picture of my back yard ... stop the snow!

I have a home that was built in 1970 and I will be trying to sell it again when spring hits. The problem with my house is I've updated most of the home during my 25 years of living here, but I have never changed the kitchen cabinets, which are hard birch and in good repair. They are dated and need a face lift and could make or break a sale. The last time I priced cabinets they were about $5,000, I can't afford to put in new cabinets, so I researched my options online and decided to redo my cabinets and breakfast bar by painting them and putting new brass hinges and hardware on them. I made a visit to the Home Depot with my plan at hand.

I purchased two cans of paint (Behr for Kitchen Cabinets with a satin sheen finish), a can of primer (Zealer 1,2,3), sand paper, a hard wood putty (Miniwax Wood Filler), new gold tone hinges and hardware and I spent $222.17. These items should be all the materials that I will need to complete my project.

I am having a family luncheon in mid February, so my goal is to have the project done by then. I have half of my breakfast bar done now and it looks much nicer and really brightens the kitchen, but I'll save a picture of that for later since I have it all tore apart right now.

I've attached a picture of what the cabinets look like now, so 1970ish!! When my job is done, I will post a new blog ... I'm very excited and can't wait to get this done, maybe this weekend!