In November my DH decided we needed a dog, he felt that I was spending too much time home alone and I needed a companion. I told my DH that I have never had a puppy and knew I was intimidated by large dogs. So my DH makes an appointment to look at german shepard puppies! There were nine of them and we go to look, I was very reluctant and knew that this would entail a lot of work for me, but really I didn't have a clue. He immediately spotted a female that he said was "the one". So he asked me what I thought, I could see he was totally smitten with her since he had had a german shepard in the past, I told him it was up to him and he decides to bring her home.
We set up a kennel in the living room by the back door so she could learn to go potty. She adapted well and within a week she was trained. My living room now looks like a zoo with a gated fence, so she can't get to the furniture, and doggie toys. I purchased a book on how to train your german shepard. Keep in mind I have never personally had a puppy or a large dog.
To make a long story short, the puppy is now about four and a half months old, training has been difficult and she weighs 40 lbs. My once quiet and clean, home has now become very active with the dog chasing my cats and treeing them on the shelves and table (I don't allow my pets on the shelves and table). I spend a great deal of my day going in and out with the dog, cleaning up messes the dog makes (tearing up paper or anything she can find), vacuuming up pet hair and I'm finding this to be a very stressful process. If I ever get back to work here, how will I deal with this high energy dog?
Last week she ate a hole in my recliner I purchased about two years ago; this is while I was talking on the phone in my office. This week she ate the molding off my french doors that cost me $2,400 when I put my addition on in 2004; again I had gone to my office to talk on the phone. My red oak floors are taking a beating from her claws which I trim every two weeks. Outside the house, when it was warmer out, she dug up the septic tank - big hole!! Came to the door covered in mud and looked very pleased with herself. She will love my flower beds in the spring!
Don't get me wrong, she is a beautiful dog and many days sits by me watchfully guarding, she is loyal and faithful and wants me with her all day long. With that being said, I have been in tears and am torn about raising this dog. She is like a small child and I have my children all but raised now, this is an enormous responsibility, very stressful and if I don't spend enough time with her she gets angry and chews something. I can't keep a mat in front of the door because she chews that up, the last one she chewed cost me $40.
I think my DH is very disappointed that I have become disenchanted with his act of kindness; wanting me to have a day companion. DH is gone 13 hours a day and I am it. DH says he can take her to work with him, but that doesn't train her to be a house dog and I think having free rein all day will cause her to be more disruptive in the house.
I have shared my feelings with my DH and he has said he has a single friend that would love the dog. He says he realizes I'm having a hard time here with all the other stresses in my life. Do you give your kids away if you can't deal with them? I have an emotional attachment to this dog, but I realize this is a long term relationship not just a walk in the park.
Any suggestions on what I should do?
I weigh 120 lbs, what will happen when she weighs as much as I do and I have to try to control her? What happens when mud season arrives? Should I just wait it out, will it get better? Will I have any furniture left? Will I be able to sell my house if I keep her and she keeps destroying things?
I really feel sad about all this and was reluctant to post ... but maybe others have experienced this and will know what is the RIGHT thing to do.
The Dog and I .... please help me to make the right choice.
February 14th, 2008 at 04:52 pm
February 14th, 2008 at 04:59 pm 1203008343
If the dog is too much for you to handle, she's too much. I love animals, especially dogs and cats but they aren't children. Giving away an animal that you can't deal with isn't the same as putting up a child for adoption. At least not in my opinion. However, we do have responsibility to care for our animals and provide for them and train them. If doing those things is a little too much for you, then finding a good home for her is a viable alternative. You aren't a bad person for doing that, I don't think.
Just my two cents...
February 14th, 2008 at 05:27 pm 1203010058
On an un-related side note I have a cat sitting on my shoulder like a parrot as I'm typing this right now. :-)
February 14th, 2008 at 05:30 pm 1203010237
February 14th, 2008 at 05:55 pm 1203011739
February 14th, 2008 at 05:56 pm 1203011779
February 14th, 2008 at 05:58 pm 1203011923
P.S. You feel bad when you think of doing this and then the little sweetie cuddles up and you realize how wonderful pets are. But, you'll feel better when you realize that he is in another wonderful home and loved there, too.
February 14th, 2008 at 06:04 pm 1203012253
February 14th, 2008 at 06:29 pm 1203013740
February 14th, 2008 at 07:07 pm 1203016078
February 14th, 2008 at 09:03 pm 1203023028
February 14th, 2008 at 11:09 pm 1203030548
Really, only you can decide if he is too much for you. I agree with the others that exercise and time will make him a better dog. AND if he potty-trained himself that easily, he'll be trainable in other ways, too. He wants to please, just has trouble with all that puppy energy!
February 15th, 2008 at 12:25 am 1203035103
Be warned - The dog may never outgrow the urge to chase the cats.
If you don't think you are up to it, perhaps the best choice would be to let the dog go to another home (as sad as that may be).
But if you do decide to keep the dog, obedience training is definitely in order. Whether you hire a dog trainer or use a book to train the dog, your entire family needs to be on the same page, using the same techniques and instructions.
If you decide to find another home for the dog, please do not give up on dogs entirely. Based on what you said, I would recommend a lovely little dog like a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. They are about the size of a large cat. They are happy, sweet little companions. Their only downside is that they require a fair amount of grooming.
February 15th, 2008 at 05:14 am 1203052497
I'd suggest a smaller dog as well too - I've loved all my little smooth-coated doxie doggies!! Small, loving, not much shedding, lap dogs, that will be protective if someone comes around that shouldn't.
A German Shephard sounds like way too much dog for a new dog owner to me. I'd vote that you thank your husband for his thoughtfulness in trying to keep you company somehow and maybe try again later w/a smaller dog.
Kudos to you for trying to make a thoughtful choice and giving it the old college try. There is no harm in backing up and saying - WOOOAH, this is too much for me.
February 15th, 2008 at 01:46 pm 1203083198
February 15th, 2008 at 02:03 pm 1203084230
What a tough decision, but hopefully knowing you did the right thing will bring you some peace.
February 15th, 2008 at 02:05 pm 1203084305
February 15th, 2008 at 02:32 pm 1203085930
I think that's what bothers me about this story. Although I think your husband the best of intentions, he didn't make a selection that was in your best interest, but rather, was sort of... thinking about himself and what his preferences are.
I'm not there, but I think it could a forgiveable kind of mistake....
Anyway, a pet may still not be a bad idea! However, I do think you should pick this time around. What about a cat?
February 15th, 2008 at 02:55 pm 1203087320
I have two lovely cats and they are very happy today, they can peacefully walk through the house and no one is bothering them. My oldest cat is 13 or 14, not sure since I rescued her years ago, I feared for her; I was afraid she would have a heart attack or something with that dog after her. She would stand her ground though and snarl and curse at him. I just felt bad for her and now I know she will be happier.
My daughter owns a pug she brings over to visit; my cat loves the little dog. After this experience, I've decided on "no dog", it's too much responsibility and can be very restrictive on your life. I hated to leave the house very long when I had the dog because I didn't want the dog in the kennel, I thought that was too restrictive, so I would always hurry home.
Cats can take care of themselves and basically pretty good when left alone for long periods of time.
February 15th, 2008 at 05:24 pm 1203096249
February 15th, 2008 at 09:55 pm 1203112521
a little while ago my stepdad bought himself a jack russell as well. it took the maltese a while to get used to her, (she even snobbed my stepdad for about a month, would not go NEAR him "how on earth could you bring another dog into this house?") and they don't play often, they merely exist together which is quite nice, there are no fights and they are happy to sleep next to each other but not annoy each other.
i just wanted to mention this because maybe in the future if you were to have another go at a dog, maybe hearing someone's experiences with smaller dogs might help? i also wanted to tell you that for the most part, the maltese that my mum has behaves like a cat more than a dog, and usually gets on quite well with other cats (yes, strange). anyway best wishes.
February 16th, 2008 at 07:39 am 1203147548
February 19th, 2008 at 01:40 pm 1203428439
February 19th, 2008 at 07:54 pm 1203450866
I work in one of the largest pet clinics in Utah and too often, we get animals in that are mis-matched w/their owners. You made the right decision for you and your dog.
February 20th, 2008 at 05:56 am 1203486993
February 20th, 2008 at 08:25 pm 1203539140
I'm not much of a dog person, but I, too, feel intimidated by big dogs (being 1.50m myself doesn't help!)...
February 21st, 2008 at 04:05 am 1203566728
February 22nd, 2008 at 03:41 am 1203651712
I am glad you found such a great situation for your dog!
February 22nd, 2008 at 02:02 pm 1203688943